Reward Chart

Last week I mentioned I started a reward chart with Andrew. I bought it through scholastic book club, but I think any reward chart would do.

Here's how it works:

Pick a behavior that you want to improve. For us it was Andrew staying in his bed at night. We put him to bed and he would get up about 10 times before falling asleep, so this really was an issue for us.

Next, pick a reinforcer. This is basically a reward for the child when they do what is asked. We chose a thomas the train set.  Now, this is critical. You must explain to the child that you are starting a reward system and this toy is to only be played with when the task is completed. So for Andrew if he stayed in his bed all night, he got to play with Thomas in the morning.

They are not to play with this toy at any other times because then the reinforcer will not be affective.  Give a time limit on how long they get to play with the toy too. Andrew gets 10 minutes and that's it.

When Andrew wakes up in the morning, he puts a sticker on the chart and gets to play with his toy.

When you introduce the reward chart and the reinforcer there's going to be a tantrum because they want to play with the toy then. Stick to your guns. The tantrum will only last about 20 minutes.  After a couple of nights Andrew understood the rules and the system. Kids are very manipulative. Andrew asked several times if he could play with the toy, or put it somewhere else other than where I had it stored: no and no. He would say very cute "I have an idea, I can play with it at night" no. Last, the child gets 1 warning. So for example, I told Andrew he has to stay in his bed all night. If he get's out of bed he get's 1 warning that if he get's up again he will not get his toy in the morning. He never got out of his bed and he even asks me if he can get up to use the bathroom.  If the child doesn't listen after 1 warning then no toy and you will try again tomorrow.

We're on week 3 and he has not gotten out of his bed. This is good way to also build self esteem. The child will see they are doing something good.

Finally, be consistent! It's a lot of work, but it pays off. If you're not consistent everyday the reward chart will not work.

Here is what are chart looks like:

Friday Favorites

My first new fav is a simple new meal I threw together. I've been on weight watchers for almost a month now. I'm down 5 lbs and can fit into some pants that haven't seen the light of day in awhile. I hit a plateau with my weight loss last week and thought I needed to change up my eating choices.

So this week's fav is a baked potato, with 1 low-fat laughing cow cheese, and steamed broccoli. I can't believe how good it is! The laughing cow is like a substitute for sour cream as it just melts into the potato. The broccoli is a power food that keeps you full.

Baked potato - 5 points
* I usually eat half which is 2 points
Laughing cow cheese - 1 point
1/4 fat free cheddar cheese to sprinkle on top - 1 point

My other fav thing this week is the Wiltons chocolate melting pot:

Loves it! This little dream melts chocolate in minutes and it comes out so creamy and perfect. It was worth every penny. I've just about mastered my dipping of the cake balls and cake pops and hope to get a little more advanced with some cute decorating.

Alone again ...

Raul left on Tuesday, again. This time to Phoenix for Nascar *sigh* -- I shouldn't complain though it's extra money in the bank.  The kids have been behaving pretty well lately and I don't seem so overwhelmed at home by myself.  I've implemented some new strategies with Andrew that have helped a lot. We started a reward chart with him, and I have started using reinforcers on behaviors that I want to improve.

I don't know if it's Andrew getting older or it's because my new strategies are working, but I am now able to take him to the store without any huge tantrums. I have been that mom before with the screaming kid at the store. 

The other thing i've notice is the homework being sent home lately. Andrew is only in pre-school and on Tuesday night was math homework (9+5, 9+7, etc) It seemed like a lot of work for my little guy, but I guess it's good in the long run. 

I'm doing good. My job is actually ok right now. I'm thinking of going back to school to get my BA and i'm finally loosing that baby weight.

I have a new hobby in the works that i'm obsessed with ... cake pops, cake bites, and cake balls. I'm sure some of you have heard of Bakerella. I just bought her book:

I made my very first batch of cake balls on Saturday and they came out fab! I do need to perfect the candy coating dipping, but you really can't mess up the taste of these delicious treats.  I will post pics later after I have gotten a little better at dipping :)

The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever

I came across this article from another blogger, Alice Bradley, that is funny, and I can totally relate. If you have kids, you know you have come across some of these points. It's a funny look at what moms really think:

1. "Sleep now, because once that baby comes you'll never sleep again." Technically this is a pregnancy tip, of course, but I'm shoving it in here anyway. Yes, Great-Aunt Hildy, I will sleep throughout my entire third trimester. Because I am part bear.


2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Everyone gives you this one — annoying relatives, pediatricians, the cashier at the drugstore where you were buying newborn diapers. Are these people all robots, capable of instantly dropping off to sleep whenever their child is unconscious? Do they not have other things to do, like bathe, or simply relish the rare moments of silence you get when you have an infant?

3. "I think your baby's hungry." Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, everyone assumes you don't know how to feed your child. And every time your child cries, whines, grimaces, or squirms, they are going to assume you are starving your poor baby and you need reminders to feed it. Lest you forget! This advice is especially maddening when they turn out to be correct.

4. "Relish every moment of your baby's first years, because they'll be grown before you know it." You mean, time only moves forward? I had no idea! I thought we'd be like this forever and ever! This sort of advice, obvious and innocuous as it seems, always put me on the defensive, as if I had just been carrying my baby under my arm like a football, muttering, "Grow up already, why don't you. Just GROW UP."

5. "I hope you're sleep training that child. Do you WANT him to be spoiled?" Oh, distant relative/person whose aisle I shared at the supermarket, I'm so glad you know exactly my child needs. And that you know, from your years of scientific research, that any child not allowed to cry it out will be a horrible waste of flesh! (See #6 for this parenting tip's counterpart.)

6. "I hope you're not doing that 'crying it out' thing. It's so barbaric. Enjoy your baby all through the night!" Again, kudos to you, whoever you are, for knowing what's best for our unique family situation! I will be calling you at 4 a.m., so you can enjoy our baby as well.

7. "Why are you bringing your child outside when it's so cold out?" It never ceased to amaze me that, no matter what my child's age, total strangers will express alarm and revulsion that I dared expose him to the elements. "And WHY ISN'T BE WEARING MITTENS? He's going to get consumption!"

8. "Your child isn't really sad/angry/injured. He's just manipulating you." There's no doubt that children can push our buttons as if they've had professional training in it, but the notion that my kid's authentic feelings are in fact manufactured to elicit a reaction really chaps my hide. If that were always true, he'd be a pint-sized sociopath. I'm pretty sure that's not the case.

9. "Schools are just glorified prisons. If you loved your child, you'd homeschool." Oh, if only I loved my child enough to abandon my livelihood, tear him away from the community he so enjoys, separate him from the professionals who have dedicated their careers to childhood education, and forced him to stay home all day with me, where we'd be at each other's throats for hours! If only! Please note: I am not opposed to homeschooling, at all — in fact I wish it would work for us, but it would not.

10. "If I were you, I'd just—" OH NO YOU DON'T. I know where this is going. Listen, unnamed distant acquaintance who last parented in the 19th century (it's true — I often get my unwanted advice from ghosts) you don't know diddly about my kid, and our relationship, and what works for us.

Disneyland

We had an awesome day this past Saturday. We took the kids to Disneyland. I was anticipating a day of tantrums as Andrew has a hard time standing in lines, and it was really crowded. I was armed with lots of reinforcements in case we needed to entertain in line. But, Andrew surprised me and was very good and patient. Adam had fun too. He cried when we were getting on the tram to go to the park. I told him to suck it up because we have lots to see. He loved all of the rides and didn't cry at all.  I want to go again during Christmas :)

(leaving for disneyland)

(In line for a ride. I can never get a good picture of these two)

Happy Valentine's Day

Last night I was the mad cupcake maker. I borrowed a little idea from my fellow blogger-friend Brenda, and created some cupcakes in little valentine's bag's for the kid's party today at school. It was a lot of work but they turned out cute. Andrew was very excited to take them to school today.  I asked him who his valentine is and he said Lisa...hmmmm.

My little guy

My little Adam is quite the character. He's funny, daring, and just makes me laugh. I can't believe how much he's learning at age 2. He knows all our names, his age, his name, he's almost mastered remembering his phone number, and he knows his shapes and colors. The other day he was pointing to all the colors around the room, "that's blue mom" "thats red mom" "that's bwack mom" and then he points to my teeth and says "thats yellow mom" I was mortified at first thinking, "my teeth are yellow" Then I laughed about it and ran and bought some whitening strips for my teeth. LOL. Kids do tell the truth.

We've started potty training Adam and for about 2 months i've been sitting him on the potty, and nothing. Finally last night he went pee pee in the potty! Although, it was mid-stream because he started peeing on the floor before his bath and I scooped him up, sat him on the potty, and he finished. But at least he got the idea.

My next hurdle is getting Adam into a big boy bed. He keeps putting his foot over the top of the crib, so I know it's time to transition. I'm just procrastinating. I had Andrew in his bed before he was 2. Adam sleeps so well at night I just hate to mess with the nice schedule, but he is a big boy now.