Life Lessons

Yesterday I picked up Andrew from school and he was crying and so upset. Apparently, he didn't get invited to a schoolmates birthday party. The mom only invited 4 kids from his class and he wasn't one of them. I understand money is tight and you don't want 12 kids at your house and it's the kids choice who he wants at his party, but how do you tell that to a crying 5 year old? What are the boundries when inviting kids to a birthday party? I guess you can try and be descreet and slip the invites in the cubby's or folders (which is what this mother did) but how do you tell a kid not to talk about your party?

I'm not upset that he didn't get invited. I'm more upset the birthday kid and his buddy were teasing Andrew and telling him they are going to "rip his invitation so he can't go." This to me crosses the line almost to bullying. These kids are pre-schoolers ! It's such a find line, you want to teach your kid good manners and grace and to just walk away but then you want to tell your kid to smack them. Of course I told Andrew if they were teasing him to just walk away and go do something else or go tell his teacher.

It was really heartbreaking to see how hurt Andrew was and to think that already we're dealing with this sort of stuff.

I'm off to go pick him up now. I hope he had a better day.

Happy Parenting!

Letting go

My kids are growing and getting big and it makes me sad. I know we're not having anymore kids, but to see my boys grow makes me weepy. I threw out the changing pad from the changing table because Adam is potty trained, and now he sleeps in his toddler bed. He's not my baby anymore.  I was thinking of selling my double stroller as the kids have pretty much outgrown it. Although, I do use it occasionally for Adam. I put an ad on craigslist and had a buyer, but I couldn't part with it! I'm not ready to part with my stroller yet.

Recently we bought bunk beds for the kids. We haven't put it up yet, but we will soon. I just know when we pack up the crib and furniture that I will be totally sad because that will confirm that my kids have grown.

Happy Parenting

Is this it?

   Im blogging from the depths of the human resources file room at work. There are days when I just think to myself, " is this it?" Is this my life? Shredding documents, filing paperwork, and hole punching. I go on endless job interviews only to be disappointed when im told, "we went with another candidate." Ouch, how many times can a person take that.

I know, im glad I have a job but I want to be happy again at my workplace where I spend most of my existence.

Until then, I will continue on.

Happy shredding!

My Little Indians

It's a western theme at the kids school this week. I tried to get some pictures of these two monkeys, but as usual one is goofing off or the other is looking the wrong way.

little indians

Cowboys!

This picture just cracks me up. Adam looks like a little ricky ricardo.





Book Review

As I mentioned in a previous post, Andrew's constultants are reading books to him when he's upset. The books talk about how you feel and how to calm down. Here are a couple:

By: Thich Nhat Hanh & Sister Thuc Nghlem

By: Kerry Lee McLean

Both are awesome books!

Happy Wednesday

Calm Corner

Andrew had a monster of a tantrum Saturday with his consultant. He was upset about not having a toy placed in the right spot, yeah we're working on flexibility.  The consultant had to leave the room and wait for him to calm down. When he did calm down they went to the "calm corner." This was set up in Andrew's room and it's a space for him to use the relaxation techniques that have been taught to him.  He has this huge stuffed caterpillar that the consultants use to wrap around him and he squeezes it while taking deep breathes. It really, really works and he calmed down in the matter of 10 minutes.

He got upset another time and by himself went into the corner and started his breathing. It's awesome that he's doing it on  his own, recognizing when he's angry, and using these techniques instead of being aggressive.  The consultants also read him these books that talk about calming down. I'll have to look at them tonight, but I know one of them is "the peaceful piggy."

Other than tantrums and tears over the weekend, Andrew went to grandmas and is now sporting a new haircut. We went swimming on Sunday and Andrew has just conquered his fear of jumping in the pool and just runs and jumps. Adam is still a little scared of the water. He chills on the steps, but he did get brave and go in the shallow end with dad.

Happy Monday

spitting, ugh.

Yesterday I picked up the kids from school and they both had good days so they got to pick a toy to go home. I should talk about these toys. First of all, their school is a converted house so there's a garage on the premises loaded with supplies and a corner of used, broken, annoying toys. Everyday we have to go in there to pick a toy; it's very annoying. Yesterday Andrew picked this helicopter that didn't have a propeller. He spent 5 minutes trying to look for it and I finally gave him a warning that we were leaving. He did well with the transition and got in the car; the propeller was never found. I told him in the garage that the toy was broken.

We got in the car and Andrew made a comment about the damn toy. I told him it was a broken toy and we can't find the piece to it. Well he didn't like what I said and spit in my face. One thing I HATE is spit. So disrespectful and not acceptable. I had to calm myself down because what I wanted to was take him out of the car seat .. and ... well I did good by calming down. I did tell him (in a stern voice) that we do not spit and he will be getting a time out when we get home. I continued by telling him that I was disappointed in him and that we do not spit. He told me he was angry and didn't like what I said about the helicopter. I guess the comment about it being a broken toy angered him.

I told him thank you for telling me how you're feeling but we do not spit. I asked him, "what do we do when we're angry" he said "walk away." The consultants are teaching him other ways to deal with his anger and walk away is one. Although, we were in the car, but at least he got the point.  We got home and he said he didn't want a time out that he calmed down. Another tool from the parent trainer. When tantrums happen, put them on extinction. Let him have his tantrum; he has to calm down on his own. He did calm down and I praised him for that but he still had to do his time out. He did it and in a calm manner. He almost broke down the door the other night when we put him in time out.

Happy Parenting